I Didn't Know it was an Elected Position!

A friend messaged me this quasi-amusing example of psuedo-popery (link to pseudo-popery).

Five Solas Bacon

Five Solas Bacon | the delicious second course | to TULIP bacon
By grace alone saved | All that justifies is faith | Canon suffices
Only Christ's Merit | None but God glory receives | (five tasty solas)

Long version:

By grace alone saved | not by merits of our own | only by mercy

A sinner made just | justified by faith in Christ | justice imputed

Canon suffices | clearly shows what is needed | Word of God alone

Only Christ's merit | not from our fellow sinners | one sole redeemer

None glory but God | All glory to our one Rock | Our foundation stone


-TurretinFan

Open Letter to Frank Turk

Dear Centuri0n,

What's the deal with all the open letters? (such as this one)(and this one)(and this one)(and this one)(and this one)(and this one)(and this one) Have you forgotten how to write regular letters?

Yours truly,

T-Fan

From the Department of True But Misleading Headlines ...

"Pope Decides to Retire At End of Month" (courtesy of my friend Matthew Lankford, who runs Adferit)

Ergun Caner in Arabic-ish Gear

An anonymous commenter left this link, which he alleges: "may be the video that ends it all." The only thing it is likely to end is your dour mood by giving you a chuckle. In any event, it does have Ergun Caner and he is wearing Arabic-ish gear (think Aladdin):

(link to video)Enjoy! (and note the tags for this post)

-TurretinFan

False Ecumenicism

In this discussion, our undercover correspondent discusses false ecumenicism with someone who tries, initially, to claim that he is not interested in making converts.

(direct link to video)
-TurretinFan

Machina, Ora Pro Nobis?

If this "worked," which (of course) it doesn't, it would be simony (link). It's yet another example of life being stranger than fiction.

-TurretinFan

Steve Hays Almost Blows My Cover!

The juicy details can be found here (link).

So You Want to Root Out Calvinism?

Here's a video that humorously (or at least that is the intent) illustrates a number classic errors that are frequently used by opponents of Calvinism.



There is some nice marching music in the background, but no verbal material in the audio - so if you need to turn off the audio, you won't miss any of the substance. I obviously don't endorse the use of a purported image of Christ in the video.

Hat tip to JM of the Puritanboard for pointing this video out to me (link).

-TurretinFan

More Batting About On the Blind Quest to Besmirch "Protestantism"

Bellisario, not the biggest fan of rap music (as discussed previously), has decided to try to remedy his previous deficient selection of a rap music video. He now claims,

When I posted my last blog article on bad Sacred Music I had several Protestants try and [sic] tell me that it was never used in Church, but that it was just for entertainment. Well here it is being used by two clowns in a Protestant "church". I guess they think it is edifying to have people watch them act like two fools in a "church" with bad music playing. The one below has a guy rapping in a "church" service.

(source) Let's examine these statements.

1) The criticism to which Bellisario is referring is the criticism that the rap music video he posted was entertainment, not worship. Neither of the two videos that Bellisario has now posted are worship either. Both are for entertainment rather than worship. So, unfortunately, Bellisario hasn't found a solution to his problem.

2) Yes, both videos are taken from within a Baptist (or at least it appears to be Baptist) church sanctuary. However, neither is during a worship service. What Bellisario may not realize is that many folks don't view the interiors of church buildings as though they possessed some special aura of spirituality, such that they can never be used for anything but worship. One wonders whether Bellisario would think that even Catholicism was so rigid.

3) Bellisario's claim with regard to the second video in his post just isn't even true, as he would have discovered if he had taken the 30 seconds necessary to check out the information associated with the video, which explains that the performance was during an annual Thanksgiving talent show. Likewise, the first video's information also indicates that it is from a non-worship service, namely the end of a kids' summer camp.

4) Given Bellisario's apparent view that rap music is such a degradation, one wonders whether Bellisario has bothered to note that rap music is not the exclusive domain of non-papists. Upon whom will Bellisario blame the following video, and to what will Bellisario attributes its degradation from that ultimate expression of musical genius, the Gregorian chant?

Here's another video that demonstrates that the video above is not an isolated case:

Oh, and could this be an example of someone actually rapping inside of a "Catholic" church? I could be wrong, but that big metal object in the background looks rather like a tabernacle.

5) If Bellisario searched long enough he could probably find someone who had decided to incorporate a rap performance into a church service. In my view, that would be a travesty indeed - there is no place for performance in the middle of worship service. It would indeed be a degradation of worship, not because rap is such an inferior kind of music, but because God has not asked to be worshiped through performance art. On the other hand, given the lunacy one sees among the "Call to Action" types (and the like - do I even need to post the videos?) within Catholicism, I wouldn't be surprised if some folks who are still part of the Roman communion have done the same thing.

-TurretinFan

I might be a ...

BookNerd, according to JT at Between Two World (link).

Parody of I will Survive - Humor Alert

This is humor. Don't draw theological conclusions that may be unintended from what amounts, in some instances, to forcing words to fit the rough meter of the song. Parody.

To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's, "I will Survive."


First I was afraid
I was Petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without an infallible guide
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you exegeted wrong
I grew wise
I learned how Scripture applies
and so you claim
You dispense grace
I checked my blog to find you there
with that egg upon your face
I should have changed my rule of faith
I should have made you leave the keys
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to burn Wyclif's Bible
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to read
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got the Word of God that's giv'n
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength God gave
not to fall in heresy
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of your bad theology
and I spent oh so many nights
pondering the magisterium
I used to cry
Now I hold my Bible high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little layman
still venerating you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to fear thee
now I'm saving all my loving
for the God who's loving me

I've embedded the original (?) Gloria Gaynor song below via YouTube:



-TurretinFan

Think of a Better Headline - Ecumenical Patriarch and Pope

The real headline was something about the two leaders of their respective religions (Eastern Orthodoxy and Roman Catholicism) kissing. I'm sure this sort of thing gives ecumenicists the warm fuzzies.

One cannot fail to notice, however, the EP's enormous, highly ornate, crown. Especially in view of the pope's choice of going with much more low-key garb for the event (though one assumes that the mitre shown worn here by John 23rd is still kicking around the Vatican somewhere), the EP's regalia stands out.

So, since humor is so rarely expressed on this blog, I thought it might be nice to have a little fun with recaptioning the image shown above.

My proposals:

1) "This really was not a mitre-optional event, Ben."

2) "I'd have worn a zucchetto too, but it would not cover my enormous brain."

Any thoughts from my readers?

-TurretinFan

Calvinism and Mariah Carey

Reformed folks are probably more familiar with William Carey, sometimes referred to as the father of modern missions. William Carey is famous for saying, "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God." The following video, however, speculates about possible Calvinistic tendencies of his fellow Carey clansman (clansperson?), Mariah:



Enjoy!

-TurretinFan

H.T. Brought, ironically enough, to my attention by Let My People Read.

A Little Humor

I'm sure the critics will respond, "very little."

Nevertheless!

Here's a little web site offering aromatic fares. I'm not sure if they have nihil obstat or imprimatur, but they smell of Popery!