Friday, August 22, 2008

Think of a Better Headline - Ecumenical Patriarch and Pope

The real headline was something about the two leaders of their respective religions (Eastern Orthodoxy and Roman Catholicism) kissing. I'm sure this sort of thing gives ecumenicists the warm fuzzies.

One cannot fail to notice, however, the EP's enormous, highly ornate, crown. Especially in view of the pope's choice of going with much more low-key garb for the event (though one assumes that the mitre shown worn here by John 23rd is still kicking around the Vatican somewhere), the EP's regalia stands out.

So, since humor is so rarely expressed on this blog, I thought it might be nice to have a little fun with recaptioning the image shown above.

My proposals:

1) "This really was not a mitre-optional event, Ben."

2) "I'd have worn a zucchetto too, but it would not cover my enormous brain."

Any thoughts from my readers?



Mike Burgess said...

Option 1) "Yeah, It's called a 'Bedazzler.'"

Option 2) "Did you see Rowan? PLEASE, with those eyebrows... I almost died."

Option 3) "No, but seriously: could I take the BMW out for a spin? It's not like you're picking up the ladies with it."

(Funny is funny.)

Seth McBee said...

1) Holy Kiss misses its mark, as does their theology

2) I like your crown, where did you get it? I stole it from Christ.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about the picture but I do know that when I was attending a real lavish dinner at the Washington D.C. Vatican facilities one evening, the paintings on the wall were "real" and very very expensive. I know because I studied in art school some of those artist's works and their philosophy and in fact I was surprised to see artist's work hanging on the wall that I had studed before! Now I knew where those paintings were hanging! And the Cardinal in charge at the time, I forgot his name, he is no longer the Cardinal in Washington D.C., everything he wore was real, real gold chains and cross, real diamonds and other precious stones for jewelery, real expensive cloth clothing and fine leather shoes. The ornaments on the tables, tiffany lamps, etc. and well, the tables themselves were quite expensive. I guess the building and all the ornateness of this place was reflective of Our Catholic God as He lives His Eternal Life in Paradise?

I was wondering if they had a real manger in the backyard with those smells, but no, there was well manicured lawns and a barbeque and lounge chairs for the higher ups that come there and enjoy those wonderful autumn nights in D.C. outside!

Now did I tell you about New York?

I just don't get it? Us savages here in California do quite well with reed boats for fishing the lakes, reed canopies to keep the rain out of the feathers in our hair! :)

I have a question?

Am I being naughty?

Turretinfan said...

No, Michael. Naugty would be suggesting the headline:

"Little did the EP know, the pope was already a vampire."

Anonymous said...

"Your beard smells of a good kind of aftershave, Your Excellency" (or whatever he's called.

zaphon said...

I don't have a headline, but a couple of blurbs:

EP: Ah, Holy Orthdoxy is not what it used to be, Pope.

Pope: Brother, don't lose hope. It could be much could be PROTESTANT!

Ok, not that funny, but witty? :-)

EP: Don't even THINK I'm about to kiss your ring.

Pope: Don't worry...I'm too afraid it'll get lost in your beard!

Ok...maybe I'll keep my day job.


Paul Hoffer said...

It's too bad that some people can only find humor in being mean-spirited.

Here is my offering:

EP: Did you see those caps that the Rev. White was wearing on YouTube the other day?

B16: Yeah, they are almost as cool as what we get to wear!

God bless!

Anonymous said...

What is coming out of the right hand side guy's mouth? Look weird!

Alexander Greco said...

1) The kiss which wouldn't have happened in September of 1453.

2) New at Burlington Coat Factory, the Bishop line of apparel. Impress your co-workers at the next board meeting.

I can think of a few Mastercard "priceless" lines, but those are over done.

Alexander Greco said...

I can just imagine Orbit gum making a commerical out of this...any moment the Orbit girl will pop on screen with the "Dirty mouth? Clean it up with..."

But hey, the two are being Scriptural: Romans 16:16.

Mike Burgess said...

A couple more popped into my head:

EP: "Why, yes, now that I have my glasses on, the folds of your ear do resemble the Chi-Rho!"


B-XVI: "So Levada says to me, he says, 'How'd you deal with Boff and Gutierrez?' so I says, 'better I should show you,' and I lean way in like this, see, and I show him my upper-cut across the ribs. Takes the wind right out of 'em. It's all about hip rotation. That's where the power is. You felt it. You'll be alright. Walk it off."

I have a weird sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was traveling with my sons for the last couple of days and now this one comes to mind to write after being in need myself! I can imagine him asking him where? Where???!!!! Hurry up man, where?!:

"Ah, Pope, ah, where did you say the toilet is? Sorry if I mess up your floor if I don't make it in time. Like you, I am growing old and my feet don't move as fast as I need them to now"! Where? Huh? Where? ""Shuuuuu, everyone, shuuu, the Pope is going to speak""!

orthodox said...

Little children, the Patriarch is wearing a crown because the photo was taken during the divine liturgy. The Pope is not, because he is a visitor. If they'd met in Rome, the situation would be reversed.

Turretinfan said...


Maybe you could be a bit more specific. In what part of the "divine liturgy" does the bishop kiss a non-Orthodox person?

I've seen a few liturgies, but I don't recall that part. Perhaps, since you have decided to treat us as children, you could spell it out a bit more.


Alexander Greco said...

The photo doesn't appear to have taken place during the liturgy, but maybe before or after.

Turretinfan said...

AG: That seems more likely.

Anonymous said...

The Patriarch is fully vested for liturgy, while the Pope is only wearing choir dress, and hence the difference.

Turretinfan said...

Anonymous ... ok and ... compare this photo:
link to photo (caution to readers offended by icons allegedly of Christ)

They all managed to get suitably and similarly attired. There are several crowns there ...


Anonymous said...

Those are all Orthodox patriarchs, metropolitans, archbishops and bishops.
The one with the cone-shaped mitre is the Pope and Patriarch of the Great City of Alexandria, Libya, the Pentapolis, Ethiopia and All Africa.

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